Globurrito: a forgettable dining destination

By Conner Anderson

 

With conflicting opinions flying around campus at the speed of love, I took it upon myself to make a little stop at the Globurrito. The mixture of positive and negative views rendered my state of mind neutral and my review, therefore, unbiased.

Prior to entering the Globe, I feared warnings about the frustrating combination of poor service, unfriendly faces, and long lines. Much to my delight and surprise, however, the line proved short and the service proved friendly. After a brief wait, I indulged my ravenous appetite for meaty perfection with a chicken burrito. I topped it off with all the toppings fitting for a classically delicious southwest adventure: lettuce, cheese, black beans, hot salsa, pico de gallo, white rice, sour cream, and guacamole. My card was swiped, my account was charged, and the transaction was complete.

With all the expectations of a food enthusiast, well educated in the worlds of Moes and Chipotle, I sat down in a relatively comfortable booth. Though the table was not clean and the atmosphere not completely desirable, I was happy to treat my increasingly strong appetite.

As the burrito hit my eager taste buds, I was bombarded with a tsunami of flavor of Japanese proportions. Luckily, the burrito proved to be more tasteful than my sense of humor. The pico de gallo hit me first, providing a nice, zestful complement to the more substantial toppings. The chili-like spicy salsa followed with a kick that sent me reeling. Even the guacamole packed a flavorful punch. Was this meal too good to be true?

As it turns out, most things are too good to be true and my burrito was no exception. The chicken, eventually unmasked by the other toppings, provided me with the unpleasant remembrance of un-fresh airport food, leaving my palate increasingly needy and unsatisfied. Furthermore, I was forced to re-wrap the burrito at the outset of my meal, revealing the apparent inexperience of the employees. Thankfully, a colorful culinary background allowed me to effectively re-adjust my tortilla, preventing a mess of epic proportions. Furthermore, my meal was over in a few short minutes; I could have had two more. Initial impressions proved deceiving as I gazed down upon my empty plate, a direct reflection of my empty stomach.

A lack of substitute local burrito destinations will probably spur a return visit, but with healthily mediocre expectations. My recommendation: load the burrito up with sauces until its bursting at the seams and try ordering two or three. Maybe even stop by McClurg on your way. Much like other campus dining adventures, eat not for purely satisfaction, but more for basic nutritional needs. In summation, if you’re desperately desiring a burrito destination far inferior to the worlds of Moes and Chipotle, make a stop at Globurrito. You will not be disappointed.

Campus Comments:

“Would be good if it was ten times the size.”–Sam Parker (C’14)

“I didn’t know that they served burritos there, but the chips and salsa are good.”–Will Vaughan (C’14)

“I didn’t think McClurg’s blandness could be matched until my first trip to the reformed Globe.”–Robert Kerr (C’16)

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