by Peter Lampley
Some of you may have been wondering what sort of lawless shenanigans Sewanee sees on the weekend, but wonder no more! Thanks to the gracious cooperation of Chief Marie Eldridge, The Sewanee Purple is able to share details from this weekend’s police blotter for your entertainment and, hopefully, reflection. Here are the highlights:
Vandalism in the lot behind Benedict (otherwise fondly referred to as the K-mart lot) is ongoing, with 12 to 15 car tags having been tampered with,
A dog bit somebody at a fraternity house, though no one was seriously hurt,
There was one account of reckless driving on University Avenue,
And lastly, there were two thefts: a laptop taken from a dormitory and an iPhone taken from the Fowler center.
Fortunately, this was a fairly uneventful weekend, but it certainly won’t always be that way (as most of you can attest). In fact, the next time you bump into Sewanee’s finest, try to offer them your sincerest condolences and thanks instead of like, I don’t know, throwing beer bottles at them. The police really do a lot for the Sewanee community and get far too much abuse for doing it, so if you can’t make their job any easier, at least don’t make it any harder than it has to be.
As always, if you witness a crime, need to report an emergency or have any information regarding ongoing investigations, don’t hesitate to stop by the police station or call Sewanee extension 1111.