by Page Forrest
Junior Editor
I felt like that guy in “127 Hours”, or the main character of “Life of Pi.” Alone. Helpless. Without necessary supplies. I was using the bathroom in Beta, and there was no toilet paper. “Heellllllpppppp!” I cried piteously through the door I had cracked open. “There no toilet paper.”
Finally, a sophomore took mercy on me, and brought me a paper towel from the kitchen. Unfortunately, this wasn’t an isolated incident. The same thing had happened before, and would happen afterwards, at other fraternities across campus. Beta and DKE are frequent offenders, but even those who usually are pretty good about keeping the bathroom stocked, like Lambda Chi, have reduced me to relying on the goodness of others to obtain toilet paper. This may sound funny and kind of pathetic, but I know I’m not the only one who has been stuck in this situation. Alyson Carr (C’17) lamented the situation one morning at breakfast, saying, “I can’t count the number of times I’ve been out, and there hasn’t been any toilet paper in the bathroom. It’s awful.”
Most of the time, you don’t notice that there isn’t anything to wipe with until after you’ve already gone. And then you’re stuck. Even when there’s a paper towel to be found, it’s not exactly pleasant. No one wants to make the trek to the Pub, or back to his or her dorm, just to use the restroom. It’s not worth it. But when a 10 minute walk across campus, or wandering around in the cold trying to find Bacchus starts to seem more pleasant than using the bathroom inside the fraternity, then there’s a problem. We need toilet paper. If your Greek organization is so short on funds that you can’t afford it, then my apologies. Let me know, and I will gladly shell out my own money to buy you some. I’m that desperate. We need to wipe – please don’t leave us stranded.