By Simon Boes
In what is being dubbed one of the biggest Campus Pub debacles of the mid 2010’s other than the riding of the Tiger in 2015, one sophomore woke up from a nap and became a campus superstar. Allegedly, Ben Swellington had just stayed up for thirty hours studying for his Chemistry 120 exam. Camping out in the dim-light of Spencer Hall, he vowed to obtain an A. Classmates of Swellington reported that he breezed through the midterm examination with ease and went back to his dorm room for a well-deserved nap.
Awaking from his slumber, he realized that Fall Break had snuck its way onto campus. Which was seemingly not a problem – he was planning on staying and hiking the Perimeter Trail. However, with an empty stomach, he found himself hungry. With his only option being The Tiger Bay Pub, which was closing in thirty minutes, he hustled out of Trezevant Hall and hit the street. On the way, he had a bright idea to save himself money during the break.
A Pub employee reported that Mr. Swellington sauntered into The Tiger Bay Pub and placed an order of ten chicken strips, ten grangers, and ten pancake platters. When the employee waited momentarily for a laugh or chuckle, it dawned on him that this was a serious request. The employee allegedly pressed the red panic button underneath the chip display which resulted in a loft of balloons falling from the ceiling. A banner fluttered down next to the drink section that displayed “Congratulations.”
Pub Jim came out from behind the counter and shook hands with Mr. Swellington. Pub Jim announced, “We have been waiting for years for someone to spend his or her entire $150 Tiger bucks in one sitting, and you are the first!”
Remember to be respectful of the Pub employees when you’re waiting for food! They work hard to ensure we get what we need.