Fall Party 2018: hour-by-hour

By Richard “Todd” Pryor III
Executive Staff

Friday, 7 p.m. – Clurg has blessed me yet again with Chicken and Dumplings. Bless Rick Wright, Sewanee’s God.

8 p.m. – I didn’t even know Cheeto could rap.

9 p.m. – “No, Chad, the Thumps are a good band and I will not put up with this mockery from you.”

10 p.m – The only rumor here is why they couldn’t get actual artists.

11 p.m. – This set has gone on for far too long.

Saturday, 12 a.m. – If I can still hear the band from my dorm, they’re too loud.

6 a.m. – “Why did I go to Redeye?” – Literally everyone at Redeye

8 a.m. – “Why did I go to Redeye?” – Me, stumbling around the Quad.

10 a.m. – “Why did I go to Redeye?” – Me, hungover in my bed.

12 p.m. – The only saving grace about this morning is the potatoes with a lot of salt from the McClurg. Thank you, Chef Rick.

2 p.m. – Why do I drink at such weird times?

4 p.m. – Why do I go such weird places while I’m drinking?

6 p.m. – Why did I end up at Theta Pi?

8 p.m. – What was so special about that Thomas Merton guy anyways? Why don’t I get cool sidewalk epiphanies?

10 p.m. – I’m now at Fiji, I think. David Byrne says that this isn’t a party or a disco. If it’s not either of those, what is this place then? What is this campus if not a party or a disco? What does it mean to be a “party school” or a “disco school” if neither one of those are what this is? What does any of this mean? What does it mean to be alive? What are we here for? Is God just laughing at us as we struggle? Thanks a lot, David Byrne.

Sunday, 12 a.m. – It’s time for my bi-yearly visit to SAE. Wish me luck.

12:05 a.m. – And like normal, I’d prefer to be at SNu. But first – food truck!

1 a.m. – Why am I here?

6 a.m. – I’m never sleeping in the bathroom ever again.

7 a.m. – At least Rick’s potatoes can “cure” my hangover.

9 a.m. – You know, faking what I did during fall party would be fun for a satire.