Cup and Gown Soup Review

Derby Carlson and Pressley Wilson
Contributing Writers

If you have not tried any soup from the Cup and Gown you are a delinquent. You simply cannot deny it because what have you been doing with your life??? Have you allowed yourself to settle for bland, hard food??? That’s so boring! While it’s warming up on campus, we’re all experiencing pesky allergies and colds right now, so you should still keep Cup and Gown soup on your radar.

Anyway, if you need help in deciding what soup to try first, second, or fifteenth, here is a very helpful review in ~ poem ~ form on what classic soup to buy.

Soups: A Poem Collective

Once upon a time,
A soup so sublime
Came from the crockpot and caused a sigh,
So, an ode to Tomato Basil,
Of happiness, you will die.

‘Trick or Treat,’ — A phrase, so nice,
That describes Wicked Thai Chicken and Rice,
But, take out the ‘trick,’ and only leave the ‘treat’
Because this soup was such a joy to eat!

Fee Fie Fum Foe
The Cream of Potato,
You can forgo,
Unless you get bacon, cheddar, or bread,
The Caesar Wrap is what you should get instead.

Roses are red,
Broccoli Cheddar, a classic,
You should go try it,
It was really fantastic.

Let me be frank,
The Garden Vegetable is dank,
If you love tomatoes — this soup’s pretty swank,
There should be more shell pastas, though,
This isn’t the motherfreaking bank.

We have to do a real review, so here::

Now, if you actually want a regular review, here it is. (How boring! Did you not understand the deepness of pure poetry?!?? That took at least 3 minutes — if not longer — to write!) Anyway, for those who need stars or something, we got you.

All of these are out of 10 Panera soups (because Panera is the superior soup):

Tomato Basil Bisque: 9/10 Panera Soups
Tomato Basil is a classic soup so this soup is simply that: a classic! It is so creamy and has these tiny pepper flakes that make it delicious. It is so creamy that you don’t need a sandwich, but it is the perfect texture to dip in a warm, melted grilled cheese. It has just the essence of tomato and is superbly sweet. This soup is a beautiful blend of flavor and texture, and is the right amount of filling. Tomato Basil Bisque is pure bliss. 

Wicked Thai Chicken and Rice: 8/10 Panera Soups
Now, this is a Meal™. It has vegetables. It has cream. It has chicken. You’ll feel so fulfilled to the point you will forget about your classes for the rest of the day with no anxiety. A few bites in and you’re so overwhelmed by the texture and the flavor you have to take a time out. It is so thick that the baguette accompanying this soup almost goes to waste, but it doesn’t because everyone loves bread. If you’re not a vegetarian, you should buy it. And if you are, accept that you are missing out on this Wicked soup. 

Cream of Potato: 7/10 Plain, 9/10 Toppings
The real star here was the toppings. When we were eating this soup, it felt as if you were eating a grilled cheese sandwich (with bacon) but in soup form! The cheddar was so tasty and cheddar-y. The bacon was bacon-y. The potato base was potato-y. The texture was like gravy – so thick a spoon could stand in it. If you like these toppings, buy this. But if you don’t, I wouldn’t.

Broccoli and Cheddar: 8/10
This is another classic soup. It was so creamy, so cheesy. It was perfect to dunk bread into. But again, so cheesy. This soup is actually like drinking cheese which, if you’re like me and love cheese, it’s incredible. But also, if you’re like me and are lactose intolerant, maybe reconsider. The only flaw in this soup is the lack of broccoli. The ratio of broccoli to cheese, or at least what i. It would take this already high ranking soup from an 8 to a 9.

Garden Vegetable: 8/10
If you are sick with the Sewanee Plague™, eat this soup. The pepper will open your nose. The vegetables will give you essential nutrients or something. (I don’t know.) However, we would — personally — love some more shell pastas. Give us the carbs!!!