Peyton Hassinger
Features Editor
It’s that time of year, again. The weather has dropped below 70º, and all you want to do is curl up in bed and watch Gilmore Girls with a warm cup of tomato basil soup—or, perhaps, broccoli cheddar? Maybe chicken noodle soup? That sounds like a perfect day for a lot of people. I am not one of those people.
I apologize for the blasphemy. Trust me, there are days when I crave a warm, soothing cup of soup, and the heated glass insulating the palms of my hands. But, those days are few and far between. Soup is simply the most overrated and impractical “meal.” Most days, I’d prefer a complete meal, something that actually fills me up.
Typically, when one wants soup, one is not just eating it because they’re hungry and that’s what evolution taught us to do. No, it is undeniable that when one wants soup they are doing it for the experience. They choose to ignore what exactly they are putting into their bodies for the sake of vibes.
I know this because if they were actually eating it out of hunger, one would need more than just one bowl of soup to fill them up. On the rare occasion I choose to have soup for dinner, I have to pair it with a complimentary dish, such as a grilled cheese sandwich. It’s simply not practical when it comes to meal time.
Additionally, mindless eating can lead people to ignore the ingredients of what they’re eating. As I’ve established earlier, most people eat soup for the experience, not for the health benefits. It’s true that many soups are extremely healthy and can do wonders for your immune system. But, the kinds of soup that people actually crave, such as chicken noodle soup, chowders, and bisques, are full of sodium and saturated fat. A combination of the gross ingredients and the need to eat more than one serving can quickly become detrimental to your health.
Don’t worry! I’m sure after hearing this terrible news about your favorite meal has left you wondering, what am I to do to satisfy the serenity I feel when eating a bowl of soup? Allow me to draw your attention to tea. The indispensable experience of eating soup can be satisfied in the same way with a nice, warm cup of tea. You get the warmth, and you get the serenity, all without the harmful and annoying aspects of a cup of soup.
Just like soup, there are infinite flavors of tea, for all times of day! You don’t have to restrict yourself to feeling this euphoria until the later hours of the day when it is acceptable to have a bowl of soup. You can indulge in tea at any and all hours of the day, and why wouldn’t you?
In conclusion, soup is not worth your time. I don’t mean to crush your dreams of enjoying a warm bowl on a chilly November day. Conduct a simple cost benefit analysis of eating soup using the evidence I provided you here, and you too will see that you are doing more harm than good to your body, and your mental state.