Class registration mishap causes widespread panic

By Simon Boes

Executive Staff

The Sewanee student body recently received the seasonal emails that bring anxiety, stress, and tension to the metaphorical table: class registration. Like many Sewanee traditions, class registration happens twice a year and favors the older students. The process is as follows: gowned seniors pick a class, then seniors, then gowned juniors and so on – in intervals of fifteen minutes.

However, in a surprising turn of events, an error in this year’s program coding allowed the freshman to sign up first, followed by sophomores, then gowned sophomores, and so on. This accident turns out to be permanent as the coding’s timer shuts off at midnight, with the class decisions set in stone.

The Purple caught up with Trip Lydgate (C’20), the freshman allegedly first to find out about the glitch in the system. Lydgate explained, “I was freaking out in Benedict about a class to find, so I typed in the ID number for Dance 310 and it registered me!” When prompted how the information spread so fast he nonchalantly stated, “All I did was text the girl I met at SNU last night and a couple of my buddies.”

Naturally, the most affected students, the seniors, displayed some agitation. Mary Garth (C’17,) stated, “I have been waiting four years to finish off my general education requirements, and now English 101 is completely filled up with freshman! How ridiculous is that?” While her roommate, Dorothea Brooke (C’17) mentioned, “I think it is a conspiracy theory set up by the administration…I do not know what for but that is all I have to say.” The administration declined to comment on the notion of a conspiracy theory. In a recently McClurg survey conducted by the Community Engagement house, twelve percent of the student body supports the conspiracy theory.

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