By Briana Wheeler
I feel terrible. I’ve started to like one of my best friend’s old crushes, and I don’t know what to do. I would love to start dating him, but I know she will freak if she finds out.
I H8 Dibs
A timeless dilemma; know that your situation is not unique. You could ask almost anyone in the world and you’d hear a similar story, particularly in small places like Sewanee. With that being said, you should not feel terrible in the least. I’m sure you would not have chosen to find yourself in this predicament. Yet, here you are, and due to the emotional complications, the way out is never without some discomfort.
Since you say you’d like to start dating your crush, I assume your feelings are fairly strong and you believe a relationship could form. With this in mind, you may find it helpful to just be honest with your friend about your feelings.
It’s a tough conversation to start, but hopefully you two can work it out due to a solid friendship. At the end of the day, your friend doesn’t control your relationships with other people. But since you do value your friendship, attempting to address those tough emotions together will show them that you truly care about preserving it.
Best of luck,
My friend called me a loser because I wouldn’t go to a party with her. She complains that I never go out, but the one time I tried, she ditched me for her usual party friends and I ended up alone. I can’t win. How do I actually have fun here?
Binge-watching Friends again,
Dear Saturday Night,
The party culture at Sewanee is strong, and it can produce intense pressure for someone who doesn’t know how to approach it. For the most part, you’ll find two polarized opinions on campus: all in or all out. But in all honesty, it doesn’t have to be that cut and dry. You certainly don’t have to go out every night of every weekend if you don’t want to, but you also don’t have to avoid parties like they’re the plague.
However you choose to lead your social life, the most important part is who you spend your time with. You seem to show some interest in going to parties, but perhaps you just went because of your friend pushed you and called you names. Regardless, I would suggest finding a group of friends who you think you’d have fun spending time with no matter where you end up or what you end up doing. It doesn’t have to be a large group, it could even be just one person. So long as you laugh together, that’s the key to having great college experiences.
Good times ahead,